As i predicted, i aint dreaming, i aint sleeping, i aint imagine, its my life, as real as my ass, only reality shows off and i cant ignore it cause if i do, it will the end of the days for me.
So, now that i know this, what should i do? Be tough is and option, change again is another one, become numb seems attactive, mmmm, but i dont like anyone.
I felt like something is trying to push me down the hole again, i dont wanna be there, i cant stant for it so something i must do. Heartbreaked again, mmmm, naaaa! that definitely is something out of mind.
I should change myself, my lifestyle, my wishes, my mediocrity, my career, my mind, my feelings, everything.
Ok, now that i know what to do, how do i do it?
Wow!! thats a hard question, lets see, emmmm, im too attached to my feelings, thats bad, i should let things go without a question, find distractions.
One of my biggest problems is that im not happy with what i do and i dont know what makes me happy, i could be good at what i do but i dont have passion, and that my friends is something that cant be missing in anybodies life.
Now, that takes us to another big question, what do i like?
I like to analize but, isnt that what i do?, maybe im in the wrong way.
Everyday for me is a constant combat with myself, what should i do, what shoul i feel, what should i think, how should i behave, what should i wear, where should i go, WTF is wrong with me??
I should i do what i want, i should think what i want, i should behave as i want, i should wear what i want, i should go wherever i want to!!!
Thats pretty hard to realize, i cant do what i want cause i dont have the resources neither the approvement to do it, i cant think what i want cause that would be a waste of time, i cant behave as i want cause i would me excluded from ppl that i love, i cant wear what i want cause... i just cant, and i cant go where i want cause resources....
FUCK IT ALL!!! i want to quit my life, i want to quit this fucking piece of shit but im locked inside myself and i dont have the key to unlock me, i wish it could be as easy as a heroic key for a dungeon....
Ohh well, nothing to do now but sleep, FUCK i aint sleepy, pills again....
I WANT MYSELF TO SET FREE!!!!!!
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