I will follow you

Yesterday, at my group, they read a lecture that had something i needed to keep going, it said that its ok not to let go inmidiatly, everyone has his own process and when the moment is right i will feel the power and the strenght to let go.

It fitted to me so well, cause i was making pressure on myself to let go that girl that in matter of weeks she become the one, that one that i was looking for, and when i felt defeated, God made our roads to join.

Its sad to feel this way, everything i have learned to let go a relationship doesnt work now, why is that, mmmm, im getting to the conclusion that im different now (she told me that and made me feel very good), im another person, i cant fool myself anymore, and that is awsome, the only problem is that if anything that i have learned works, then im facing something new, and i have to learn again how to deal with it, its hard, but step by step im making it to happend.

I still have some hope in us, that in the future we will come together again, to have a healthy relation and to be happy, maybe thats a dream, but keeps me warm in bed and help me not to entirely crash and go in crisis.

For all this i decided to dedicated myself a song (the one that is playing now), jeje, thats new for me but it feels awsome!!!

Yo te seguire - Alberto Plaza

No me pidas más de lo que puedo dar
cada uno tiene su mayor anhelo
no le quites alas a la libertad
porque ya he empezado a levantar el vuelo.

No me pidas más de lo que puedo dar
tengo a mano la alegría y la tristeza
me acompañan y me ayudan a cantar
por eso las dos se sientan en mi mesa.

Yo no puedo ser perfecto;
tengo miles de defectos
tengo lágrimas
y tengo corazón.
Si me pides que mejore
mis fracasos mis errores
dame tiempo,
para ver si puedo andar.

Y yo te seguiré
donde vayas tu
y me quedaré,
a tu lado .

No me pidas más de lo que puedo dar.
Yo soy lo que vez no soy mas que vida
que ha escogido a mi cuerpo para descansar
y seguiré camino alguno de estos d'as


Yo prefiero darme tal y como soy
con todas mis dudas y contradicciones
yo no quiero fabricar una mentira
para retenerte para estar contigo.

Yo no puedo ser perfecto;
tengo miles de defectos
tengo lágrimas
y tengo corazón.
Si me pides que mejore
mis fracasos mis errores
dame tiempo ,
para ver si puedo andar.

Y yo te seguiré
donde vayas tu
y me quedaré
a tu lado.

Solo una cosa te voy a pedir
no le hagas caso a mi melancolía
algunos días es más fácil sonreír,
pero este no es uno de aquellos días.

Y yo te seguiré
donde vayas tu
y me quedaré
a tu lado.

----------------------------------------
and for my english readers, i translate it for u:

I will follow you - Alberto Plaza

Dont ask me for more than i can give
everyone has its greater yearning
dont remove the liberty wings
cause i has began to reach its flight

Dont ask me for more than i can give
i have the joyness and the sadness by a hand
they join me and help me to sing
thats why both sits on my table

I cant be perfect
i have thousands of defects
i have tears
and i have heart.
If u ask me to be better
my failures and my mistakes
give me time
to see if i can go.

And i will follow you
wherever u will go
and i will stay
by your side.

Dont ask me for more than i can give
im what u see im anything else that live
that had choosen my body to rest
and will keep going some of this days.

I rather to show myself just like i am
with all my doubts and contradictions
i dont want to make a lie
to have u with me, to be with you.

I cant be perfect
i have thousands of defects
i have tears
and i have heart.
If u ask me to be better
my failures and my mistakes
give me time
to see if i can go.

And i will follow you
wherever u will go
and i will stay
by your side.

Just i thing im going to ask you
dont take too seriouly my melancholy
some days is easier to smile
but this one isnt one of that days.

And i will follow you
wherever u will go
and i will stay
by your side.

------------------------------

last thing for now

i did this song that u r listen to (Unknow Mix). my intention was to recompile all my feelings in a certain moment and make it live with music. its for a person, she knows who she is.

i made a conclusion, this is the last thing i will do thinking on her for a while, why is that, cause i need to focus on myself, work around with my personality, my fears, my problems, a lot of things, so my intention is that this mix keeps alive something that is barely breathing, it was made with love.

remember, its my feelings what the artists are singing, maybe i did not want a few words, but it sounds ok.

for u with all my love

Knowing myself a little more

I underestimated myself, now i realize that, yes, that moments were important to me, and i wanted to share it...

Now, there is nothing left to do, 3 big deals to me and i cant share them, maybe its a light from God, i have to live the 3th one alone (it havent came), i will leave it in a MAYBE, cause i want it to be shared.

I always claimed myself to be a lonely person, to need no one, and now i realize the emptyness inside myself, and i have to deal with it, i cant depend on other persons, specially you, i just wonder when is it gonna end!!! im sick and tired of myself!!!

i feel like u r too much for me, that i cant keep at ur step, you are so much grown, and im just a little boy that is starting and learning how to live, how to love, how to share, how to be in peace. i feel so infirior, and, as always with my stupid questions, am i good for u? can i make u happy?

i dont feel well, im frighten and intimidated, i feel that i cant keep up, but i feel too that i cant give up.

Brain take off

it has been a very difficult week, i had a very diversity of emotions, sometimes more than 5 in a day. i have tried to manage it, sometimes succesful, other times defeated...

i realizing that i cant do it alone, i need help from somewhere, and i think that somewhere is God, im not a religious person, but for me, God had always been there, the thing that is changing is that now im asking him for help.

i have a lot of insecurities to deal with, im exahusted from fighting myself, my brain just wanna take a day off from himself, not to think, thats the deal, just live every moment, theres no past and theres no future, only right now. jeje, thats a think that im trying to do.

hard hard hard is the word of the month for me, i dont wanna lose u, and i dont wanna lose myself either, im afraid here, i dont know what to do, what to think, what to feel, its just like gambling, no one knows (specially me) what is gonna happend.

be myself!!!! jeje, if i could only find him....

Las Voces de Mi Interior

Un gran mundo se esconde tras una mente, en este caso la mia, y no me refiero a un mundo armonioso y lleno de paz, me refiero a un mundo totalmente caotico.

Ultimamente me he enfrentado a solo un pedacito de mi, y he gritado tanto por tratar de ordenar mi ideas, he tenido tantas ganas de llorar por salir de la angustia que es tener una diversidad de opiniones solo en mi mente.


Esto suena a personalidades multiples, ps no es asi, pero no esta muy lejos que digamos, cada una de las voces en mi interior quiere hacer una cosa diferente y no existe un personaje tal que pueda unir todas las ideas para un bien mayor. Es dificil convivir con mil yos y aun mas, organizarlos para que puedan ser productivos.

Pierdo mucho tiempo tratando de entender que es lo que realmente quiero, decidiendo q es lo mejor, y en la mayoria de casos, me doy por vencido o simplemente dejo de pensar en todo y me tiro al agua. No siempre resulta, pero por el momento es la tecnica que mas me ha funcionado.

Hoy en especial, es un dia muy dificil, tengo tanto, pero tanto en mi cabeza que me dan ganas de salir corriendo, huyendo de mis pensamientos y de mi mente. No se como diablos le voy a hacer pero voy a salir de esto, no inmediatamente, pero si con el tiempo.

Increible

A veces es inncreible como todo casa en el universo.

Todo cae bajo su propio peso y se acomoda como deveria de ser.

El dia de ayer en la noche y hoy en la maniana fue la prueba viviente, jeje, estoy muy feliz!!!